Reconciliation: the Sacrament of Penance

The Sacrament of Penance
Start with the sign of the cross and say:
“In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been (say how long) since my last confession, and I accuse myself of”:
Disclose your sins to the priest, naming all mortal sins and the number of times committed. Conclude by saying:
“For these and all my other past sins I am truly sorry, and I ask pardon of God and penance and absolution of you, Father”.
The priest will talk to you about your sins. He will give you a penance to do. The priest will ask you to pray the Act of Contrition. Say:
Act of Contrition
O My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You. I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend You, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. And I firmly resolve with the help of Your grace never more to offend You and carefully to avoid the occasions of sin. Amen.
Act of Contrition (shorter version)
O My God, I am heartily sorry that I have sinned against You because You are so good. I resolve by the help of Your grace not to sin again. Amen.
The priest will say the absolution prayer.  When he begins to make the sign of the cross over you, you should bless yourself, and say,  “Amen” when he does. The priest will say, "Go in peace."

​
An Examination of Conscience based on the Ten Commandments
1. I am the Lord your God. You shall not have strange gods before me.
Do I give God time every day in prayer?
Do I seek to love Him with my whole heart?
Have I been involved with superstitious or occult practices?
Have I refused to accept what God has revealed as true, or what the Catholic Church proposes for belief?
Have I ever received Communion in a state of mortal sin?
Have I hidden a serious sin or told a lie in confession?
2. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Have I used God's name in vain: lightly or carelessly?
Have I been angry with God?
Have I wished evil upon another person?
Have I watched television or movies, or listened to music that treated God, the Church, the saints, or sacred things irreverently?
Have I insulted a sacred person or abused a sacred object?
3. Remember to keep holy the Lord's Day.
Do I shop, labour, or do business unnecessarily on Sunday or other Holy Days of Obligation?
Have I tried to observe Sunday as a family day and a day of rest?
Did I fail to dress appropriately for Mass?
Did I allow myself to be distracted during Mass, by not paying attention, looking around out of curiosity, etc.?
Have I deliberately missed Mass on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation?
4. Honour your Father and your Mother.
Do I honour and obey my parents?
Do I treat my parents with little affection or respect?
Did I react proudly when I was corrected by my parents?
Have I neglected my duties to my spouse and children?
Did I speak sharply to my spouse in front of other?
Did I deny my spouse’s marital rights without good reason?
Have I given my family good religious example?
Have I spoilt my children?
Do I try to bring peace into my home life?
Do I care for my aged and infirm relatives?
5. You shall not kill.
Have I been angry or resentful?
Did I give scandal to anyone, thereby leading them into sin?
Have I harboured hatred in my heart?
Have I unjustly threatened another person with bodily harm?
Have I verbally or emotionally abused another person?
Have I hated another person, or wished him evil?
Have I abused alcohol or drugs?
Have I physically harmed anyone?
Have I encouraged or condoned sterilization?
Have I mutilated myself through any form of sterilization?
Have I had an abortion or encouraged anyone to have an abortion?
6. You shall not commit adultery.
Have I willfully entertained impure thoughts?
Have I respected all members of the opposite sex, or have I thought of other people as objects?
Do I seek to be chaste in my thoughts, words and actions?
Am I careful to dress modestly?
Have I engaged in masturbation?
Has each sexual act in my marriage been open to the transmission of new life?
Have I used any method of contraception in my marriage?
Have I been faithful to my marriage vows in thought and action?
Have I engaged in any sexual activity outside of marriage?
7. You shall not steal.
Do I seek to share what I have with the poor?
Do I pay my debts promptly?
Do I waste time at work, school or at home?
Do I gamble excessively, thereby denying my family of their needs?
Have I stolen what is not mine?
Have I returned or made restitution for what I have stolen?
8.You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.
Am I critical, negative or uncharitable in my thoughts of others?
Am I sincere in my dealings with others?
Have I committed detraction: harmed a person's good name by telling others about his faults for no good reason?
Have I committed slander or calumny: telling lies about another person in order to destroy his good name?
Have I gossiped?
Do I keep secret what should be kept confidential?
Have I lied?
9. You shall not desire your neighbour's wife.
Have I consented to impure thoughts?
Have I caused them by impure reading, movies, conversations or curiosity?
Do I seek to control my imagination?
Do I pray at once to banish impure thoughts and temptations?
10. You shall not desire your neighbour's goods.
Am I jealous of what other people have?
Do I envy the families or possessions of others?
Am I greedy or selfish?
Are material possessions the purpose of my life?
Do I trust that God will care for all of my material and spiritual needs?

Frequently asked questions

What does scripture say about the Reconciliation?
The call to reconciliation, both with God and our fellow human beings, permeates sacred scripture.  That Jesus entrusted the power to reconcile to his Church is perhaps clearest in St John’s Gospel, where the risen Jesus breathes on the apostles and says, “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained."  (John 20: 23)

What happened in the early Church?
The Church fought hard for the principle of forgiveness and reconciliation.  In North Africa, in particular, a large group – the Donatists – broke away because they would not accept back Christians who had succumbed to threats or torture during the persecutions, and had abandoned the faith.  The Catholics insisted on Jesus’ command to forgive, “Not seven but seventy-seven times” (Mt 18: 22)

Confession was public in those days, and so was the penance: and it was often quite harsh.  The sacrament was used only for very grave sins, especially apostasy (denying the Faith), adultery and murder.

How did the sacrament develop?
After the Roman Empire collapsed, the old form of public penance became impractical.  It was the monks – especially the Irish monks – who revived the sacrament in the form we know today, with a private confession of sins.  The Church also realised that the forgiveness of sins need not be restricted to the “big” sins, but that the grace of the sacrament could also be extended to those “everyday” faults we call venial sins.

What is the “second rite”?
The “second rite” combines a common preparation with individual confession and absolution.  This respects both the privacy of each penitent, and the communal nature of the sacrament: that it is reconciliation with the whole Body of Christ.  When we celebrate this rite (e.g. in Advent or Lent) there will be a large number of priests, so that the sacrament does not take too long.  You are encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity if you possibly can.

---

But I haven’t really sinned…?
Actually, we are all sinners (1 Jn 1: 10), and we are all called to be saints.  At the very least we have missed opportunities to be greater saints.  If we are not conscious of any serious sins, we can simply confess our sorrow for our daily failings and weaknesses, and ask the Lord’s forgiveness for these.

How often should I confess?
There is no absolute rule about frequency.  Pope John Paul II, who used to confess weekly, said, “Those who go to Confession frequently, and do so with the desire to make progress, will notice the strides that they make in their spiritual lives."  There can be no better preparation for the great feasts of the Church – like Christmas – than a good confession.  Anyone conscious of grave sin – one that ruptures our relationship with God -  must confess before receiving the other sacraments.

Why the name “Reconciliation”?
The Sacrament is officially called the “Sacrament of Penance”, and popularly called “Confession”.  In fact, the four constituent parts of the sacrament are contrition (sorrow for sin), confession, penance and absolution.  The word “Reconciliation” is thought by many to describe the whole process rather well.

What is “absolution”?
The priest, speaking in the person of Christ, applies that power given to the apostles by Jesus after the resurrection (see above.)  He declares, “I absolve you from your sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son +, and of the Holy Spirit.”

I’m forgiven : why a penance?
The penance is not “punishment”, but something to help us make a fresh start.  It may be as simple as making an extra prayer.  Where possible, it should be linked in some way to the sins we have been forgiven (e.g. by praying for those we have offended.)

What is restitution?
Restitution may be necessary if I have taken something wrongly.  It is a consequence of genuine sorrow.  If I’m sorry for stealing, I must be prepared to return what I stole.  If I am sorry for taking away someone’s good name, I must do what I can to restore that, too.

And the “seal of confession”?
You can be absolutely sure that the priest will never reveal to anyone what you have told him in the sacrament.  That is the “seal”.

The Catholic Catechism on Reconciliation

Read what the Catechism of the Catholic Church has to say about Reconciliation.